My plan

So I'm leaving for the Air Force April 13th 2010. I have a lot of things on my mind as well as a looooot of stuff I need to take care of and deal with before I go.

I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. Some of my family is excited for me while others...not so much.

Pat is 100% supportive of me and I couldn't ask for a better man, he's amazing I can't wait for us to finally be in the same space for more than 3 days. I joke about how much I hate the military but I really don't I'm grateful that he had the opportunity join up and see the world and deploy and grow up. Now it's my turn, I hope I get out of it what I should. I look forward to this challenge. It's amazing how I'm soo set on getting OUT of here. I know I'm gonna miss so much, like my friends and my god children growing up but hell I gotta do something with myself. I needed a kick in the pants to get myself back on the right track. I was mad at myself for taking a break from school and moving back home, but I didn't really have any other options. This...is another option, I'm opening doors for myself. I want to be great at something. I gave up swimming and music because they weren't fun for me anymore when I probably could have done amazing things with one or both of those talents. I won't let myself do that. I will go to the military and strive to better than my own expectations.

sigh it's 7am I need to go to sleep, but I can't stop thinking about the future and about all the things I want.

I love him and want him here with me.

I want to be an amazing airman.

I want to make myself and my family proud.