LONG TIME

Man it's been so freakin' long since I've posted there's just some much I don't even know where to begin.

I guess I'll start with this little bit and try to get it caught up as best I can.

I graduated from Basic Training June 11th from the 323rd TRS we were the Mustangs. I graduated alongside 39 other females. I was the guidon bearer that was a huge deal to me and it was awesome to be able to do that. Hopefully I can do that again once I leave this current job.

I gradated from Technical School August 13th and I am a Ceremonial Guardsman stationed at Bolling AFB in Washington DC. We do military honors funerals in Arlington National Cemetery.

Patrick and I broke up shortly after I graduated from basic, but I moved on quickly to Avery and he's amazing...everything happens for a reason. We went thru BMT at the same time in two different squardons, happened to be open general and went to the same Honor Guard briefing, both got accepted into the HG, graduated BMT on time and went thru the same tech school. and amazingly he's from Dallas and I'm from Houston, if that's not fate...IDK what is.

I've done some pretty amazing things in a short amount of time I love the Honor Guard, I don't love DC but that's a story for another day (navigating these streets is awful).

Seems like a good start, more to come....

Last Upate

Tomorrow I go to the hotel.

I'm excited. Not yet nervous. God has great things in store for me.

2 days.

I typed a two in the title and a 28 appeared in the drop down box.

There was a time when I was 28 days away...now I'm two...HOLY WOW.

I had an awesome conversation with my baby today..and man he's soo good to be, like I just love him so much it makes no sense. He gave me some awesome words and calmed me down when I got stressed and worked up. He did all this after listening to me vent for 20 mins. I love him. I must do better by him. I've been so stressed I've been a less than great gf and that's not cool. He doesn't fault me though because he knows I'm going thru so much. I miss him so much..it's nuts.

And I also had a lovely chat with Kat today, she really cool I was glad I could be there for here and be someone she could have an adult conversation with. I'm gonna remember to pray for her as she endures this deployment.

And I'm forever grateful for the women that helped me in my time of need. I can't thank God enough for blessing me with them. I plan to make thank you cards tomorrow the least I until I can pay them back.

God has brought me thru so many struggles and I will remember his greatness each day I go thru basic.

$400

$400 is keep me from being an E-3....ugh.. I NEED my transcripts to get the proper rank..

I can't even begin to describe how upset I am.

I just wish I could catch a break long enough.

Come on Lord lead me thru this.

4days...

No more problems Lord...please...

6 days

I have 6 days until I leave and I have SOO much shit to do. I feel like a crazy person. I thought I'd be more relaxed right now...I'm not...at all.

I wish Patrick was here with me thru this..he'd make all this better. I'm pretty sure he'd just take care of everything. I've got such a good mad, sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him. Then I realize that every woman deserves a good man.

I'm tired though, I don't feel like I'm getting support from the people close to me that I should...idk...

IDK what to say.

Posted this on MM

But I wanted to post it here too.

I kinda just poured outta me.

2 weeks and 1 day.......HALF a MONTH and I am....gone...

HOLY FUCK!!!

Yall remember when I was saying 4 months, 2 months, 30 days, 3 weeks, I'm down to 2wks and 1 day...
:thud


The excitement builds up everyday. I'm googling shit left and right and call my recruit about random shit every other day....this week is gonna fly by because I work Mon-Thurs and then Friday-Sun I'm going out of town for my going away partying.

So this week will be last week of real posting and then after that I'll just be on facebook. April 12th I'm officially done communicating with the outside world, that day will be spent with my parents and grandmother and myself.

This is real....I'm crying...wow.

It has been a crazy week.

I just got back from a weekend in Atlanta for my aunt's graduation. I was really great to see some of my fam before I leave for Basic. Next weekend I'm going with the girls to Texas Relays it's gonna be my last wild weekend for a long time.

16 days man...WOW. I can't believe I'm just over 2 weeks away from something amazing. I sprained my ankle a week ago and it's still trying to heal up and I'm really worried it won't be 100% by the time I need to leave...I pray SO hard about it, it's insane.

Patrick and I went through a rough few days but we're back on track now. He was just all over the place and nowhere at the same time. I'm guessing he's dealing with me leaving and us not being able to talk on the phone for 2 1/2 months BUT I need him to be here for me...But we're 100% now and I'm glad. Although we are back on track he's on 15 days leave and will have limited phone access so that's not anything I'm looking forward to at all. Everything will work out the way it's meant to though.


16days.

Thoughts

I've reached the point where I've realized that some people are really only meant to be in your life for a season or two.

I'm just trying to focus on myself and my relationship.

Not too much to say today.


Maybe I'll add more later.

28 days

It's been awhile I've been pretty busy with work and just haven't had anything positive to add so I didn't.

Patrick and I are still doing fine, he's been pretty busy and stressed lately with school and then his internet at home is down so we haven't been able to talk as much. It makes me miss him more but we'll be back to somewhat normal soon before I leave.
Everyday it hits me that I'm getting closer and closer to Basic Training and I am SO excited. I'm not sure when the nervousness will set in [the bus ride up there I imagine] but I am so ready. I feel like my life begins April 13th. I have some amazing people in my life and I hope the ones that truly have my best interest at heart really stick by my side. I'm gonna miss being able to talk to my friends daily and Lord am I gonna miss sleep and home cooked meals ha. But 8 1/2 weeks and things ease up. Hopefully Tech school won't be too, too long so Lovey and I can plan for when we'll be able to see each other. Hopefully I'll be able to go to the Marine Corps Ball this year. 28 days and my life changes.

I feel like I'm pretty amazing.

VDAY Weekend.

Short and sweet;


Spent the weekend with 2/3 of my best friends D'Andrea & Angela). Went to dinner and a movie on Saturday and then lunch on Sunday.

Patrick sent me choc. covered strawberries and a big ass teddy. Next best thing to him being here. Just love him!!!



Going to the zoo tomorrow with 2/3 again {D'Andrea & Alethea) with the kiddos cuz its faaaareeee!! And just a good fun day out the house.


Overall been a good few days.

LDR part 2

This shit is getting old fast.

He's dropped another scenario on me.

Just when I thought I could start planning our life...I can't because things are changing again. WTF..Oh well I love him..things will work out. We'll be fine.

LDR

This LDR shit sucks. Every few weeks I fall into a funk, and here we go again. I've only cried twice this separation so that's a plus but damn...I'm sick of missing him. I just want him here or me there or us SOMEWHERE TOGETHER. ugh.

I don't shit else to add....

[sigh]

BHM

http://www.thegrio.com/black-history/thegrios-100/thegrios-100-teresa-king.php

Hello February.

So January overall was a sucky ass month. It had some high points. But overall it was a total drag. But January did mark 7 months into this year long separation. I have no idea how that's gonna work out, but it will. I love him TO DEATH. Speaking of love.


Ex decides its ok to message me on YIM and "propose to me" WTF?? He usually pops up every now and then to confess his love and affection and gets the same response ever time. I'm committed leave me alone. Deleted him from my YIM but it does me no good because of course I'm still on his..I'm even permanently invisible and he still messages me. Time for a new YIM name. Done & Done. But I just don't understand. It has been a LOOONG time since we've been together like AWHILE. How can one still be attached to another the way he is. Like his feelings are still strong like we just "broke up" (we were actually never official because he wasn't "ready for a relationship") I just don't understand what I did to him to make him this attached. I should feel flattered, but I'm not I'm actually feeling nothing but sadness for him. He could really make someone happy if he would just let me go. And then I made a status update about it and some girl asks "how does your bf feel about this" Girl you don't know my Lovey..he feels exactly how I do..laughing at it and moving on. He is in no way shape form or fashion insecure about my feelings for him. NOPE.

All of that made me appreciate Lovey's love for me and mine for him even more..it's just amazing.


Today was an overall good day. Each day I smile because I have such amazing people in my life. My MM girls being at the top of the list. They really came thru for me on my birthday and I've made some great friends [a few of you heffas are reading this so yes I'm talking to you lol]. I can't wait to look back on MM in a year and laugh at some old things and admire our growth and the things we made it thru [deployments, separation, family drama, pregnancy, etc] It's all pretty great.

I have 3 days off. I'm going to be productive with my life if this cold doesn't beat me down..my throat is sore..trying to fight it off..Must...Be..Strong..

Plan to mail of Lovey's CP..I suck at life..I'm gonna need to get a bigger box but keep it under 50 lbs.

Black history fact for the next 27 days to come.

-One Love.

My plan

So I'm leaving for the Air Force April 13th 2010. I have a lot of things on my mind as well as a looooot of stuff I need to take care of and deal with before I go.

I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. Some of my family is excited for me while others...not so much.

Pat is 100% supportive of me and I couldn't ask for a better man, he's amazing I can't wait for us to finally be in the same space for more than 3 days. I joke about how much I hate the military but I really don't I'm grateful that he had the opportunity join up and see the world and deploy and grow up. Now it's my turn, I hope I get out of it what I should. I look forward to this challenge. It's amazing how I'm soo set on getting OUT of here. I know I'm gonna miss so much, like my friends and my god children growing up but hell I gotta do something with myself. I needed a kick in the pants to get myself back on the right track. I was mad at myself for taking a break from school and moving back home, but I didn't really have any other options. This...is another option, I'm opening doors for myself. I want to be great at something. I gave up swimming and music because they weren't fun for me anymore when I probably could have done amazing things with one or both of those talents. I won't let myself do that. I will go to the military and strive to better than my own expectations.

sigh it's 7am I need to go to sleep, but I can't stop thinking about the future and about all the things I want.

I love him and want him here with me.

I want to be an amazing airman.

I want to make myself and my family proud.